Cosmo Cricket
Posted in Arts and Crafts on 08/03/2009 02:19 am by adminCosmo Cricket
Feeling mildly despondent over a recent one pound gain, after meticulously following my diet to a tee, I happened to come across the astrological forecast section of a local newspaper. Not being a true believer in these futuristic predictions, I thought maybe this bit of information (for entertainment purposes only) might bring me out of my morose condition.
I looked through the column until I found the section for Leo and read: “You will experience an unexpected gain today.” “Uncanny,” I thought. How could this astrologer accurately predict that I had gained a pound on my diet? My belief in this art form became positive. Instantly, I became addicted to these predictions.
Assuming that astrological predictions are based on planetary placements and lunar observations, it seemed only natural they would all be very similar. Similar, that is, until I picked up a copy of the TV Guide.
As I was skimming through the back of the magazine, I noticed that they had a page dedicated to foretelling the future. Thinking that I would see another mention about my gain, I read on. However, instead of a gain, it stated that I was going to take on the persona of Al Bundy and that a Pisces would be an integral part of my life. Since my girlfriend is a Pisces, I quickly looked up the Pisces prediction. It said that she would take on the persona of Peg Bundy. She jokingly commented, “Hey, it could have said Ted Bundy.”
My beliefs in these forecasts began to diminish. I needed something to verify the first column I read. Someone else had to predict the same thing.
I looked through a Cosmopolitan that was on the coffee table. I turned to the astrological section and became even more depressed. It said, “Romance would enter my life” and I would “fall for an exceedingly handsome love interest.” This wasn’t anywhere close to the other two predictions. My girlfriend tried to smooth me over with the explanation that Cosmo was geared primarily to women and that its forecasts were probably aimed toward women under that sign. “Bouillabaisse,” I screamed. My girlfriend couldn’t believe I would use such language in front of the dog. But, I was upset.
Using her women’s theory about the Cosmo predictions, I went to the store and bought a men’s magazine. I went past the centerfold and turned to my horoscope. It said that the moon was in the Seventh House and Jupiter had aligned with Mars and I would probably appear naked in a Broadway play.
I became desperate and drove to the supermarket. As I went through the checkout, I picked up a copy of the Enquirer with the headline, “Woman Denies Alien Being Is Father of Her Green, Two-Headed Baby.” I turned to their zodiacal forecast, but all it said was that I would experience an Elvis sighting at a Weight Watchers meeting in Key Biscayne.
No one could substantiate the very first prediction that I read. In fact, nobody could claim confirmation on anyone else’s guesses. The closest I came is when I called a 900 number I saw on T.V. advertising an honest-to-goodness-astrologer. After being on hold for fifteen minutes, “Madame Louisa” told me that I would experience an unexpected loss. This was true – a twenty-seven dollar charge was tagged to my phone bill!
Feeling like I had just learned that there was no Santa Claus, my girlfriend took me out for a quiet dinner at the Shanghai Gardens. I moped through my entire meal, until the end, when the waiter brought over a plate of fortune cookies. I took one and broke it open. The little slip of paper read: “You will experience an unexpected gain today.” I smiled as I got up to leave the restaurant and the seat of my pants split.
http://www.purpleslinky.com/writers/Carl%20Megill.19266
http://www.purpleslinky.com/Humor/Horror-scopes.92040
I am starting a scrapbooking business and im am looking for a good wholesaler?
preferable someone who has cosmo cricket, october afternoon, and american crafts..
See http://www.iwanttosellstuff.com for wholesale sources.
Cosmo Cricket – New 2010
|
|
Andover 2008 by Cosmo Cricket Cogsmo 4024B – Gear Panel 23.5 inches by WOF $7.69 |
|
|
Cosmo Cricket 12X12 Paper JACKS WORLD JOURNAL CARDS $1.05 |
|
|
Cosmo Cricket Wonderland Collection Journaling Boxes $1.85 |
|
|
Buck Naked Buttons & More Chipboard, 46, Cosmo Cricket{ $0.99 |
|
|
865pc 12×12 Cosmo Cricket CLEMENTINE PAPER KIT Scrapbook Vintage $18.99 |
|
|
Cosmo Cricket Hey Sugar CUPID 2Pc $1.15 |
|
|
Circa 1934 by Cosmo Cricket for Moda Charm Pack 42 5″ squares $8.50 |
|
|
Cosmo Cricket SALT AIR 5″ Charm Pack Fabric Quilting Squares Moda $6.77 |
|
|
Salt Air Moda Charm Pack 5″ Squares Cosmo Cricket Bright Florals/Designs $7.50 |
|
|
Cosmo Cricket Crafts Cardstock Stickers Party Time $1.99 |
|
|
Cosmo Cricket Crafts Cardstock Stickers Drop Me A Note $1.79 |
|
|
Cosmo Cricket Crafts Cardstock Stickers Celebrate Life $1.79 |
|
|
Cosmo Cricket Stickers Scrapbooking Tricks & Treats Halloween CSS346 $2.99 |
|
|
Cosmo Cricket “Cogsmo” Fabric Panel by Andover Fabrics Teal Robot Dog Kids Boys $5.99 |
|
|
NIP Cosmo Cricket Lacing Card kit FAMILY for scrapbooking stamping craft fun $8.99 |
|
|
Wagner Lighting 1156LL Miniature Lamp – Pack of 10 $6.12 Wagner Lighting – Long Life Miniature Lamp – Lamp – Fits Years: 1968-2007 – Import – Honda Accord – MAY also fit: Acura – Acura Truck – Alfa Romeo – Amc – Eagle – Amc – Jeep Tr Models: 100 Series – 124 Sedan – S/W – 124 Spider – Coupe – 128 – 131/… |
|
|
Wagner BP1156 S-8 Bulb 1 Signal $1.52 2 Pack, 1156, 12V, Heavy Duty Backup Miniature Bulb. Heavy… |
|
|
Wagner Lighting H5006 Head Lamp Sealed Beam $5.85 HALOGEN BULB… |
|
|
Cosmo Cricket SALT AIR 5 Charm Pack Quilting Fabric Squares Moda 37020PP $8.98 100% cotton, quilt shop quality fabric…. |
|
|
Salt Air by Cosmo Cricket – Jelly Roll (37020JR) $34.94 Make a big splash with Salt Air from Cosmo Cricket! This vintage beach line is filled with warm summer colors and sea-inspired patterns that are perfect for picnic quilts, sundresses and beach bags. Jelly Rolls (and similar strip products) contain 40 strips of fabric, with each strip measuring 2.5″ x 44/45″. Fiber Content: 100% Cotton Manufacturer: Moda Designer: Cosmo Cricket Fabric Collect… |
|
|
Salt Air by Cosmo Cricket – Coral Bloom Coral (37023-12) Make a big splash with Salt Air from Cosmo Cricket! This vintage beach line is filled with warm summer colors and sea-inspired patterns that are perfect for picnic quilts, sundresses and beach bags. *Note* Yardage is added to cart in 1 yard increments. You can increase the amount of yardage from within your cart. We will ship your fabric in a single, continuous piece. Fiber Content: 100%… |
|
|
Professional Kingston MicroSDHC 4GB (4 Gigabyte) Card for LG Cosmos Touch Phone with custom formatting and Standard SD Adapter. (SDHC Class 4 Certified) $1.99 Professional Kingston MicroSDHC 4GB (4 Gigabyte) Card for LG Cosmos Touch Phone with custom formatting and Standard SD Adapter. (SDHC Class 4 Certified)… |
|
|
Professional Kingston MicroSD 2GB (2 Gigabyte) Card for LG Cosmos Touch Phone with custom formatting and Standard SD Adapter. (Class 4 Certified) $1.49 Professional Kingston MicroSD 2GB (2 Gigabyte) Card for LG Cosmos Touch Phone with custom formatting and Standard SD Adapter. (Class 4 Certified)… |
|
|
3in1 Car Auto Plug in+Home Wall Charger+AC DC Converter Adapter Bundle For US Cellular LG Cosmos Touch Attune Metro PCS Huawei Pinnacle M635 Virgin Mobile Kyocera Adreno S2400 TNT Sprint Kyocera Brio Metro PCS Kyocera Domino S1310 Kyocera DuraCore Sprint Kyocera Duracore Sprint Kyocera DuraMax Verizon LG Enlighten Optimus Slider Metro PCS Kyocera Laylo M1400 Cricket Kyocera Mako S4000 Metro PCS Kyocera Mako S4000 – Auction4tech Brand $4.99 1-) Latest Technology, Highest quality NON-OEM Rapid Car / Auto / Plug in / Vehicle power charger for your Cell Phone.(12~24v DC) – Brand New in package. Never been used. – Durable coil cord for extendable reach and use. – Provides power to your phone while simultaneously charging your phone’s battery. – Small and lightweight for convenience, portability and storage. I/C Chip technology prevents y… |
|
|
iKross Car Windshield Mount Holder for Cell Phone, MP3, Windows, Android, Mobile Phone, Smartphone, Blackberry, Apple iPhone 4s $9.99 *Brand new iKross Car Windshield Mount Holder *Easily attach & secure suction cup on windshield without tools *Adjust flexible arm in multiple angles for easy viewing *Extra-firm arm absorbs vibration and provide stable viewing platform. *Holder has 4 adjustable arms to hold your device firmly *Suitable for all vehicles windshield. *Mount Dimension: 170 x 77 x 77 mm *Holder Dimension… |